The Federal Republic of United States of Medford is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Lewis Von with an even hand, and notable for its national health service, aversion to nipples, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, humorless, devout population of 13.786 billion Medfordians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Newice. The average income tax rate is 87.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Medfordian economy, worth a remarkable 2,977 trillion Medford Dollars a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 215,973 Medford Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

You're never too young to learn how to lie with confidence, citizens try to pass off bottlecaps they found in their backyards as historical artifacts, the only movement outdoors is of ramen-delivery drones, and no one believes anything until it has been strenuously tested and peer-reviewed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United States of Medford's national animal is the Medford, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church Of Medford.

United States of Medford is ranked 251,734^th in the world and 5,558^th in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 44.79 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.